January 26, 2012
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In Your Own Time
I got together with a good friend of mine that recently just came back from volunteering overseas for a couple years with the Peace Corps. We had dinner together and caught up a little bit. We were talking about how different our lives are. I’m relatively settled and she’s not at all. Either of our situations are not bad, just different. She asked me what it was like to be in this stage of life (married and settled) and if it was weird. She’s going back to grad school for another degree so our lives are very different right now. It’s not weird, it’s just my life and I love it.
The Architect and I are kind of an anomaly in DC. We’re still in our mid-20s and we’re married. In this city, the norm is you focus on your career until you’re about 30 and then you focus on your personal life and maybe get married. And it’s fine but I’ve had a lot of questions about why I chose to get married so early. I don’t think people mean to be rude but I almost feel like it is in a way.
Life shouldn’t have a set path for everything. I fell in love. I got married. I wasn’t going to wait for a more socially acceptable (or DC socially acceptable) time to get married just because I was younger compared to a lot of people who settle down and get married here. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I love being married and I like that I was lucky enough to find someone to spend my life with at any point in my life.
It’s not like we aren’t focusing on moving our careers forward. Getting married hasn’t automatically meant that we’re no longer able to work. We do and we work hard. It was the right choice for us. It’s not the right choice for everyone certainly but it works for us. I don’t think that any person should be singled out for what choices they make with their life.
Life has a lot of choices. To limit your choices is to lose something. Choice is freedom. Don’t trade it for anything just to be able to check a box.
Comments (13)
Welcome back
A lot of relationship posts have been posted recently.
Are you back on Xanga more frequently now?
I always thought we were suppose to be married sometime in our 20s haha. Have you met any other couples in DC that’s your age and married yet?
@stupid_systemus - Thank you!
@Redshirte - I think, maybe!
@Roadlesstaken - Not really. All of the married people are a little bit older!
Everything depends on what our priorities in life are. That makes priorities pretty important, don’t you think? I got married young (21) too.
Breath of fresh air! So good to see you here again.
My daughter got married when she was 22 years old. They are so happy together, and that was the best thing that happened to both of them. You just cannot wait around for the opportunities to dictate to you about settling down.
You make your own choices that are best for
you!
The beat of your own drummer, so to speak. Some wonder how I could be married for so many years, but, it’s my choice, my happiness.
Good to see you around here again!
Everyone’s situation is different. If the 2 of you are happy then that says it all.
I’d say, your decisions most people would back. I’m in my 30′s but never felt the perfect oportunituy of love to marry anyone. It just haven’t fell together like that. So us in our 30′s we aren’t shunning you..we ADMIRE you. Relationships are what keep people going. Maybe the DC people you speak of…aren’t choosing against your choices..they just haven’t been lucky enough to be confronted with your choices:)
Lotta people get married in their early 20s here in the Midwest, so there’s a subtle pressue there similar to what you experience, although focused on the reverse outcome. There’s a bit of expectation that if you don’t meet somebody in college, you’ll be mighty lucky if you don’t end up alone. Or something like that.
You two made the right choice. I have been married so long Matthew Brady was our photographer. Ronald Reagan was President……of the Screen Actors Guild! (jk). –BTB
Spot-on, Meg. Life presents countless options. To take them you have to not be so worried about following some specific “script” for your life.
lol its funny that you say people are surprised at your age in marriage. i guess it just really depends on location, but if you were where i am and my community, 20s is pretty good since lots of people get married in or just out of high school.