April 13, 2010
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Writing Ghosts
When we first meet people, we see them in two dimensions. We see eye color and hair color; stature and how they carry themselves. Maybe we see something that alludes to who they are but we can rarely see past the exterior. It is only when you know a person that they began to become real or at least tangible. It’s a very basic image.
When you really know a person, they become three dimensional. You know their likes and dislikes. You know their personalities. You begin to know the small, intimate details of who they really are. You know their dreams and hopes. Their physical traits become second nature to you. You know what they are thinking and why they think that way. They become absolutely whole to you.
Time and absence have a way of turning the three dimensional back into the two dimensional. You are left with only your strongest memories of that person. They can be good or bad. There is too much to remember in this life that you begin to forget the small details and you’re left with just a very general impression. They almost become ghosts.
I find myself wondering sometimes if I’m remembering things correctly or if I have put my own spin on a few key facts (or fictions) that I remember. Perception carries a lot of weight.
One thing about writing that has always attracted me is that it allows you to capture right at the exact moment that you feel it. You can look back at what you wrote and perhaps the perception has changed at that point but you can at least grasp a bit of what you felt at that very moment. That transcendence is something else.
Comments (16)
ideally then, would you prefer to read a person’s writing before meeting them? or would that add to creating an image of something that might be inaccurate?
It’s so true that a mental picture of someone can fade with age. Details from that image can become shifted or distorted, and that can dramically affect your overall perception of that person. But writing details down is a permanent marker to help refresh that mental image and keep it lucid. Very well written post, Meg.
And by the same token, there are so many writings that we read, and have a concocted visualization of the writer, based on the way articles are written, and feelings expressed. But when in reality, you see that same person, physically, she/he may be so far away from your imagined portrait.
I like this post of yours in so many different levels Meg. Very provocative.
Very interesting thoughts here that never occurred to me ! Thinking on them now though, you are so right !
@TheBigShowAtUD - If you could be certain what the person was writing was true, I’d want to read what they wrote. The issue is that someone’s feelings are always going to be skewed by their experience. As with anything, you may have to take the writing with a grain of salt. Thank you for the rec!
@zionlover - I like being able to go back to whatever I’ve written about a certain subject, person, or event. It helps me remember better. Thank you for the rec!
@ZSA_MD - In the case of things like blogs, I think your statement is so true. Some people’s writings reflect themselves better than others.
@Chatamanda - It is interesting, no?
so true. i especially love it when i’m surprised by an emotion or memory remembered by reading what i wrote, both in fiction and a blog.
there are so many things I love about writing. I feel the obligation to chronicle my life for both my future self and great-great grandchildren… if my great-great grandmother had kept a journal I would be ecstatic to read it.
There are so many small things that have happened that I would never have remembered if I hadn’t written about them here. The girls and I enjoy going through here and looking back. It’s the simple times, the small moments, the impromptu “adventures” that they enjoy the most!
@mercurialmusic - Sometimes I find myself thinking “wow, I can’t believe I felt like that. what was I thinking?” Writing is a nice way to take stock of where you’ve been.
@randaness - I really wish that my ancestors had kept journals as well. It would have been neat to see how some of the ones that I didn’t get the chance to meet were like when they were alive.
@endlesssummer128 - I’ve been on overdrive for the past several years and there’s so much that I’ve forgotten. My writing has been a good way to jog my memory a little and take stock of everywhere that I’ve been. I think we all need that once in awhile.
wow..this is deep and cool……thanks!
I love your last paragraph and completely agree with it.
That’s why I write everything down about a person, well, almost everything… just what I find significant about them, so I don’t forget. However, people can change at any moment in time. Some change is good and others are bad. You can decide to accept and embrace the change or you can walk away.
So true . I like the three dimensions to know really a people .
And of course where he is absent you can only watch a picture ?…in two dimensions !!. I joke as I have well understood the symbol ( wonderful )
I like this symbol you use . This third dimension is the character and the human warmth ..
Of cours the rchitect is necessarily in 3 dimensions !!
Love
Michel
Michel
Hmm…. this is interesting. I think that’s may be why it’s easier for some folks to be friends first through their writings / blogs. We cut through all the physical perception stuff.
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