March 11, 2009
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Of Note
I finally finished returning comments on my post that got featured last week. I replied to a lot of the comments on my own site but I tried to go out to the site of each person that commented me and leave a comment for them just to show my appreciation for all of the new people that stopped by.
I was kind of disturbed by some of the sites that had commented on my post on average beauty. The ones that I found disturbing were the so-called thinspo blogs. They had left nice comments on my post but when I visited their sites, I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t decide if I should leave e-props only or what. My post was supposed to be about seeing the beauty in the ordinary. To me, the thinspo stuff just really doesn’t mesh with the message that I was trying to get at.
Those sites make me really sad. I don’t know… they just really got me down. How is it that you can see beauty in the average, mundane things but when it comes to yourself, you don’t see anything you like? I realize that eating disorders are a mental issue and therefore it’s not going to make very much sense. Bottom line, I’m always disheartened when I see stuff like that.
Sigh…
Comments (23)
Those sites get me down too. I try to avoid them like the plague…
Actually, once I was on one of the sites, and calmly suggested that the girl in question should consider taking up exercise instead of barfing, or she’d end up living at a hospital. She replied with something along the lines of, “You’re a stupid ugly bitch, and I wouldn’t ever take advice from someone as fat as you.”
Yeaaah.
(I’m 110 lbs and 5’3″.)
Hold your chin up and realize that these poor souls are out there and though you may be able to reach SOME…know that you at least were able to do that. You have a very warm heart.
I am the same… don’t know what to say. The only site I ever refused to friend was one of those. I just couldn’t do it.
You are far nicer then I! I couldn’t go comment everyone. If they subbed or friended me I go say hi and thank you and sub them back if I like them.
Le sighhh. I’m with ya, sista.
Wow, kudos for trying to return all those comments from new people. When I get featured or a post is weirdly popular, I don’t always manage that.
Sometimes, leaving eProps alone or saying nothing is the best way to handle things.
Depends on the site you’ve found yourself on.
Wow, that is a pretty interesting observation.
I can totally understand that. Whenever I come across one of those blogs I just don’t know what to say, so all I can really give them is my footprints.
It’s too bad key lime pie doesn’t travel well via the internet!
I know what you mean about the thinspo blogs. I’ve battled my weight my entire life and they just depress me. I know I’ll never be the “ideal” of beauty, but it upsets me that they’re are so many out there who are wlling to risk their lives to achieve it. It’s such a shame that everyone can’t learn to love themselves the way they are. Me included.
And I appreciate the comment back… though I never expect it from people who get a thousand comments. It was a pleasant surprise!
Yeah I agree, it’s tough to read those types of blogs. I nornally leave very fast.
Not a fan of those myself, either. It bothers me because they never seem to want to listen to any real help. I try to think of it as everyone controlling their own lives but it always gets me down to see people throwing it away.
I’ve seen some of those thinspo blogs. And then some people reinforce to each other their eating disorders, saying things like “Stay strong!” Which is kinda ironic. Plus you just want to tell them “anyone who would support you in this, is not your friend.” I can think of bad habits I have, and I would never want to encourage another person to have any of them. I know some behaviors are addictive, but at what point to you think to yourself, I’m going to not care enough about a person, to enourage them the wrong dirrection, so that maybe they’ll support me back in my wrong desision. I don’t know.
The daughter of some dear friends of ours has an eating disorder. She is better now (somewhat) but I think the condition is like an addiction: one you have it, it’s always there. We have speculated on its roots (for her) and realize that there’s often little one can do but speak honestly. You cannot browbeat people into a healthy place. I appreciate the “mundane” and celebrate the moments I have on this earth. All I can do is be consistent with that message and trust that it will affect those around me.
Those sites bother me too. I think what bothers me even more, though, is just how many of them exist.
I must have missed your featured post while I was on vacation… time to go read it.
Echoing ccdow’s comment above, you’ll never be able to understand or reach most of them, but even if one or two people re-evaluate their situation and seek help, it will be worth it.
I’ve never heard the word thinspo. I gather it has to do with eating disorders?
@SerenaDante - Unfortunately because an eating disorder is a mental issue, it really doesn’t do good to try to be reasonable which is one of the reasons I have a hard time knowing what to say when I’m confronted with these sites. It’s a lot easier to say something in person.
@ccdow - Thank you
@angi1972 - Eh, it’s my way of saying thank you. I usually try to comment back anyone who comments on any of my posts. Returning comments for a featured post just takes a little longer.
@ModernBunny - Yeah, I wasn’t quite sure that I felt like I could leave eprops because to me, even those mean you agree with what they are doing.
@Roadlesstaken - I think that’s what I’m going to leave them with too.
@HerLoveMovesSlowly - Hah, we’ll have to wait until teleportation is invented
EDs are really, really scary because they can get out of control so quickly. I know that I’m never going to meet with the typical standard of beauty (I struggle with my weight as well) but I know that there’s a big difference between eating healthy/exercising and being dangerous and starving. We’re all beautiful in our own ways.
@icepearlz - Yeah, I just don’t know what else to do…
@wonderpiggy3 - I think we really have to look at it as a mental issue or an addiction. The first step in getting help for one of the two is admitting you have a problem and realizing that you need help with said problem. Without this, I’m not sure that people are really open to listening to some sound advice sadly.
@karen_lynn - In this case, I’m not sure that these people know what they are doing is wrong which is really, really scary.
@mikey_59 - Sending out a positive message is definitely important.
@der_lila_Stern - I know! It’s really, really scary how many of them exist!
@christao408 - Very true. You can only do what’s in your own power to do.
@BigToePeople - Thinspo is short for thin inspiration and usually refers to either a calorie intake blog or posting pictures of either terribly thin celebrities or terrible thin people. It’s supposed to be a sort of support for people who have an ED and showing them that they too can be really unhealthy and thin. Scary, eh?
@TheCheshireGrins - Good point.
Thankyou!
I have a few readers like the ones you have talked about. I keep talking to them, hoping that I can put some sense in their brains. Sometimes it hits the mark.
The sites that bother me more than the bulemia and anorxia, are the ones where there is explicit sex and detailed description of sexual acts. this turns me off completely. I have had a couple of occasions where I have received very sincere and fine comments on my blog, and so I would go to their sites to read a little about them, and (barf ), I am too disgusted with what they put out there. I would rather not have subs like those. truly.
RYC: I use the canvas bags for just about everything!!! They have the grocery store logo, but they’ve held books (store and library), yarn, hardware, and whatever else fits. Such a good idea, those bags!!!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Self-esteem is as well.
@TheCheshireGrins - yeah. this is true, but it’s still just really difficult because as humans we always want to be able to help out.
I guess there is a reason they call it a disorder…