I think it’s been a few years since I’ve consciously made resolutions for the New Year but I have a few for this year (in no particular order):

1.       Read War and Peace: I’ve gotten very much into reading book blogs, which has helped to stretch the types of books that I usually read. I came across a blog where the author is leading a yearlong read-along for War and Peace. What better time to read this book than now? Who’s with me?

2.       Get back in the pool:  I love swimming and the Architect and I are planning to join the Y in the New Year. I’ll be able to start swimming again. It’ll be fabulous!

3.       Read more of the books I own: Ooo, the library draws me in so badly. I love going to the library. It’s like shopping without the whole fiscal irresponsibility thing. I also tend to get a lot of books (either through buying or gifts) so I have many unread books at home just waiting to be read. It’s a really bad habit.

4.       Stay in touch better: I am really not good with the staying in touch thing. This must change.

The city is really quiet this week as usually. The period between Christmas and New Years is always pretty dead around here. A lot of people took the entire week off of work so the Metro has been super quiet and much more efficient. I love this peace.

What are your resolutions for 2011?

…below.

This morning as I got on Metro, I saw kind of a scary sight. There were two policemen with automatic rifles (are police issued military M-16s?) in their hands and full gear on that got off of the train that I was about to get on. I get on the train and start sort of chuckling to myself. I’m not sure if it was the shock of seeing a very big gun in someone’s hands or what.

All I could picture is being in Mexico on a school trip as 15 year old and seeing men with big guns outside of the banks all over the towns that we visited. It struck me as a strange sight then and something that wouldn’t happen in America (this would have been pre-9/11 mind you). Maybe I’ve been oblivious to these people on the Metro before but it’s a little disconcerting to see that at 7:00 in the morning… meh. It’s amazing how much things can change in 10 years.

On top of that, Metro’s latest scheme is to do random bag checks at random Metro stations in the mornings during rush hour. Don’t even get me started on what I waste I think that exercise is…

On another note: One of my projects for the coming year is to get my Architect to teach me photography (much of our abode is adorned with his work). I really want to start taking pictures of some of the murals on the walls in our neighborhood. Many of them are really, really cool. I love this place so much!

Saturday was the funeral for my mom’s friend. It was a really hard day for everyone but then again, funerals are not really what I would consider fun. Although, that being said, I really thought that the funeral was very fitting for Miss A. and I think she would have gotten a kick out of it. Before mass, there was probably about an hour of time for people to come up to the microphone to tell stories and share memories of Miss A very much in the style of an Irish wake. Some of the stories had me shaking with tears and some of the stories had me laughing so hard that more tears came out.

To me, this was so much better than a super somber affair. Miss A. was anything but somber in her life so why should a ceremony that was supposed to celebrate her life be somber? Not that I think about my own funeral that much but I hope that when I go, people tell funny stories and really celebrate the good life that I’ve been able to lead just as we celebrated Miss A’s most vibrant life.

After the funeral, we went to Miss A’s dad’s house for lunch where more stories were told. A lot of the stories I had never heard before and I’ve known Miss A for over 20 years. We ate dinner at one of the family’s favorite restaurants. It was a nice end to the day. I think it helped everyone on the way to healing.

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she’d want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

Yesterday, the world lost one of the bravest and strongest women around. You may remember me writing about my mom’s best friend who was suffering from pancreatic cancer before.  She passed away yesterday morning. This is the woman, who when she was diagnosed over three years ago with pancreatic cancer, joined a crew team and went crewing several times a week. Up until a few months ago, she was even working a few days a week. She was really something else. Whenever I feel a little sick or just don’t feel like doing something, she’s who I think of. She did it all even on her worse days. She was the very definition of what it means to dust yourself off and keep on going.

It’s very sad and my family is definitely grieving right now. The funeral is on Saturday and I already know that it’s going to be a really hard day.

I have a friend from college, who is pretty much my polar opposite, which is probably one of the reasons that we get on so well. He’s very free spirited while I like rules and structure. I’m always jealous of people who move freely through life like that though. He wrote a Facebook “note” recently about quitting his job and taking some time to really figure out what he wants to do with his life because he wasn’t happy with his current trajectory. At a time where lots of people are looking for jobs and the economy isn’t all that friendly, I think he’s especially brave and told him so and also that I would be living vicariously through him (I was only sort of joking). He’s going to take 5 months to reassess his work and life choices without trying to really move on anything before he has a new plan together.

I so could not do that…

I feel like I need a vacation and I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot lately…

My typical winter blues seemed to hit a little earlier this year; I haven’t felt quite right since early November. The fact that the cold seemed to hit pretty early really hasn’t helped anything. I find myself getting lost in daydreams of simply taking off work for a week and not leaving the apartment. That’s definitely not happening.

Realistically, it’s not in my personality to be anything but totally responsible, which at this point in my life means sticking to commitments and doing what I am supposed to (a loaded topic in itself). I’m not unhappy with my life at this point. It really is good but with my friend’s new direction, I can’t help wondering what would happen if I did the same thing.

So, could you leave it all behind?